Or notes to myself and many like me
1. You don’t need to do everything for your child.
It can get terrifying to bring up your child alone, but know that you are one person and it is ok to leave out a few ‘must do’ things in the process. It could be as simple as not being able to give him a wholesome breakfast as soon as he wakes up, and giving him potato chips in the morning. We know its not exactly breakfast of the champions but it does the job of keeping hunger pangs down till your maid comes in to feed you and your kid. And the peace that it brings into the house is priceless.
2. You don’t have to be present for all your child’s ‘special days’
You might be busy working your day off making an important presentation, running errands that might not happen on a weekend or even just taking time out for yourself. That is fine. What you are doing is just as important for your well-being overall.
3. Do what is good for you and your child
Don’t look at positive reinforcement from anyone. You both are a unit. What works for you both might not work for the onlookers and that is fine. If you feel that you both need time off for a holiday, go for it. If you feel that you need time away from each other, do that. This is like any other relationship. Mom guilt that the onlookers load you with? You don’t need that.
4. Do what makes you happy
If it makes you happy, then do it. A happy mom means a happy child. If that means going and getting the spa day or buying those shoes or going and attending a comedy club show with friends – while your child is with his grandmother or nanny. Do it. A little me time never hurt.
5. Spend quality time, quantity might not happen
Everyone out there will be out to make you feel guilty that you don’t spend enough time with your child. Even the aunty you meet in the ladies’ compartment says ‘Oh Sad! You don’t get time to spend with your child being a working single mom.” The important thing however is to remember that spending quality time over quantity time is important. You might not have 5 hours to spend with your child every day. But the 2 hours you spend, spend it well. Give him your 100%, keep distractions at minimum, keep the phones away. Give him full, undivided attention when you are with your child.
6. Create a power circle of dependable friends and family
Being single can get lonely, you tend to crave adult company. Nothing wrong with that. While you might not be ready for new relationships – create a power circle of friends who you can depend on and family who can be there for you and your child. Your family will always be there for you. Your child will always thrive with attention and some additional love from your extended circle of family – your friends. Enlist them to help you out where you can and if you aren’t able to be present.
7. Take more naps, take care of yourself
Being a master of all can be exhausting. Recharge, take naps often. Exercise, eat healthy. In short, take care of yourself. Because no one can take care of you better than you.
Single parent, reluctant blogger, social media junkie, ardent foodie and incurable feminist. In her alternate life, she is a serious communications specialist with over 15 years of experience in public relations and corporate communications, with a keen interest in content writing and strategy.
You can reach out to her on [email protected], follow her on @janoella (twitter and instagram) and @ilivetoeatblog (instagram), Her food blog is ilivetoeatblog.wordpress.com
Janice was also Blogstar of the Week and you can read her winning post here.