On knowing what kindness really is
When we think of kindness, we think of a poem written by Noami Shibab Nye—‘Before You Know What Kindness Really Is’.
‘Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.’
…
’You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore…’’
In the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic, these lines ring truer than ever. Many of us have experienced the immeasurable loss of loved ones, struggled with unemployment, lived in isolation and fear, and are still recovering from the events of the last few months. We need empathy more than ever before, to help each other, and ourselves. World Kindness Day is a global day that promotes being kind to yourself and to others. Compassion is what binds us all together.
Benefits of Being Kind
There is a lot of research being done to prove the hidden benefits of compassion. For instance, studies have found that being kind is linked to increased feelings of happiness, wellbeing, and life satisfaction. People who carry out empathetic acts are found to experience greater wellbeing. Being kind can boost our mood, make us feel more capable, and strengthen our relationships with others. Thus, being kind is beneficial not just to others, but also to ourselves. If you want to enjoy more happiness and wellbeing in your life, here are some simple ways to cultivate kindness in your thoughts and deeds.
Four Ways To Cultivate Kindness in Your Life
- Intentionally Observe Kind Deeds:
When trying to begin a new habit, watching and learning from others is a good way to start. You may try reading ‘feel-good news stories’, and watching ‘random acts of kindness’ videos online. Once you start looking for kindness and compassion around you, you may be amazed at what you see.
- Practice the Loving-Kindness Meditation:
The loving-kindness meditation involves the use of positive affirmations. One uses positive affirmations that are first directed toward oneself and then directed towards others. Some examples of positive affirmations include, ‘May I be happy’, ‘May I be at peace’, and ‘May I be healthy’. By directing these positive affirmations towards yourself you create a gentle and warm sensation of loving-kindness in your mind.
To further your practice, you begin to direct similar positive affirmations to your family, friends, pets, acquaintances, and even enemies. Practicing this meditation regularly may help you develop a deeper care and compassion for yourself, and others.
- Practice Self-Compassion:
Kindness to others is possible only when one is kind to oneself. Self-compassion is an important component of being kind to yourself. According to Dr. Kristin Neff, a prominent American psychologist, self-compassion has three elements. Firstly, self-compassion means being understanding towards ourselves when we fail, suffer, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or punishing ourselves with critical thoughts.
Secondly, self-compassion recognizes that suffering is part of the common human experience. When we are frustrated we often perceive our experience as being unfair and unjust. Self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience. All humans suffer— self- compassion helps us recognize that we are not alone in our experience. Thirdly, self-compassion involves being mindful of one’s emotions and thoughts without judging or getting lost in them.
- Practice Random Acts of Kindness:
Set an intention to perform random acts of kindness regularly. Some examples of random acts of kindness include making donations to your favourite charity, complimenting a colleague on their performance, listening to someone, being empathetic, etc.
Kindness, like happiness is a state of mind and a lifestyle that we can make possible. How about starting this on World Kindness Day?
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