Why you should stop trying to be a people-pleaser

Merriam-Webster defines People-Pleaser as a person who has an emotional need to please others often at the expense of his or her own needs or desires”.

That doesn’t sound too good. In fact, all of us are people-pleasers, at least at some point in life. It is only natural that you want to feel approved of, and desired, and trying to be liked and appreciated by everyone around you is only natural. But it is when things go out of hand that chronic people-pleasing becomes a serious problem.

People-pleasers are known to be the group of people who can never say no. They put others before themselves even if it harms their mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual needs. For example, saying yes to social gatherings even when you are exhausted, taking more work than you can handle, refusing to speak up, and letting go of your dreams and desires for someone else.

This unhealthy behaviour of people-pleasing shouldn’t be glorified and we are here to help you stop being one with these tips.

How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser

Learn to Say No

It is okay to say no if you do not want to do something that is asked of you. There are many ways to decline an offer without sounding rude. Most people are understanding. You just have to try.

Think about Yourself

It is okay to put yourself first. What you have to remember is you are not being selfish but taking care of yourself. Spend some time alone if you would like to clear your head. Often, all you need is to take a pause before committing to go somewhere or do something that takes up your time and energy. This is because as people-pleasers, it is instinctive to say yes to all the requests asked of them.

Stop Apologizing Unnecessarily

Don’t apologize because you’ve to prioritize yourself. Instead of giving excuses and apologizing, deny with firmness and you will feel more in control of your life.

Set healthy boundaries

As they say, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Set respectable boundaries rather than let others walk all over you. Boundaries will help you be more confident and clear in your intentions. You can say “no” without guilt and such self-awareness enables you in setting your priorities straight.

You can’t please everyone. No matter how hard you try

Remember you don’t need validation from others to know your worth. Moreover, everyone always has an opinion on something and people are going to judge you no matter what. So, stop feeding their ego and prioritize yourself.

Breaking the cycle of people-pleasing is not easy, but it is a necessary, so we move towards personal growth and well-being. By practicing self-reflection, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing our own needs, we can do it! Remember, you are deserving of self-love, respect, and happiness, and it starts with valuing yourself enough to say no when necessary.