Children died by suicide. Who’s responsible: online gaming, unfiltered internet or failed parenting?
In a recent shocking news piece, three Ghaziabad sisters died by suicide and doctors flagged compulsive gaming and isolation. This was disturbing to hear and needed a discussion to know what our community feels about it. Can unfiltered internet or online gaming or parenting style alone be the reason?
The Friday conversation in our WhatsApp group was heated and we got insights into what could be the failure.
Testimony of right parenting
Today’s digital world has swirled everyone around it and knowingly or unknowingly, people are addicted to the internet for different reasons. Hardworking parents want to be present for work, provide a good life to their kids and in between all, feel guilty of not spending enough time with their kids.
On the contrary, some parents are fortunate enough to take a career break while their kids are growing. These kids realise their sacrifice and respect them once they grow up and their parents go back to their jobs.
Either way, parenting involves intervention into their child’s internet activity and an age-appropriate discussion about the pros and cons of unfiltered internet.
As the discussion went ahead,
Preeti Chauhan said, “Addictions take hold where family environment is not conducive and where children are left unmonitored.”
Monidipa felt, “I feel the core issue is the communication gap between children, parents, and society. When kids feel lonely or unheard, the virtual world becomes their escape, and without supervision, that escape can turn into a harmful cycle.”
Unstable environment at home
The biggest reason for a child to spend endless hours on the internet for gaming is that they feel unheard and unseen at home. Many times, parents are present with them but are either busy on their devices for work or not patient enough to listen to their child’s chatter.
As Seema Singhal said, “The foremost cause is a communication gap. With parents and society, children who are introverts and do not have friends are attracted to the virtual world and then it becomes a vicious cycle.”
Cindy said, “Parents are busy making a career for themselves. Kids are left to their devices so they don’t mess up the house and maybe burn it down with experiments. Children are lonely and the internet is more available than many parents. Sadly.”
Unfiltered way to get ruined
Children are humans who need connection and time from their parents. In this busy world of the internet, gadgets have become the best alternative for attention. YouTube has become the tutorial guide for kids to learn anything, good or bad. That’s why parents need to keep a watch and be patient to listen their side of stories before coming to a decision.
Aarthi Bharath said, “Crucial conversations that revolve around emotional and screen regulation need to begin at home and it should also provide a safe, non-judgmental, compassionate space for the child(ren) to fail, explore, and learn.”
Banning the screen is not the solution
As Inderpreet said it correctly, “Screens are a part of our lives. COVID has ensured that we have to treat the phone like a learning device. If we ban it, then kids will want it more. Keep time restrictions and no devices in kids’ bedrooms.”
Solution is always there
No problem comes without a solution. Sometimes, it is right in front of our eyes but people ignore it and the other times, we have to dig deeper.
Kiran said, “Give micro tasks, preferably those that are easy and don’t make sense too and get an update the next day so they get the feeling that my mom and dad are paying attention to me, no matter if it’s silly or important.”
Inderpreet added, “Spend quiet time with your kid, just 10 mins is a start. Just sitting in the children’s room or with them makes a difference. Try to work in their room or keep them in the common room so you can connect. A child wants to express and connect, ask questions like when they were younger. We must have patience for them, they will automatically start sharing once they know that their father & mother sit with me daily to be in the children’s presence. No judgments, lecture or inquisition, just sit with them.”
Opinions may vary, but life is singular. Nurture it with love and care, while also being strict when necessary.
Did this conversation make you think?
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